imperfection

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

in



The past couple of months I've been discovering so much about myself. I guess when you are moving and under so much stress and stretched beyond capacity, you get to know yourself real quick. I had this little epiphany that I am sort of a perfectionist.  Since realizing this about myself I'm realizing that perfection isn't needed for me and isn't for me. That's what faith is for. If we were all perfect, we would miss the biggest piece of our lives which is our reliance on God. Its been such a good realization for me because now I'm working on letting go, letting God, and working on being okay with being imperfect.

There are so many pressures of being perfect nowadays. I think especially with social media being such a strong influence in everyday life, it can easily give people the wrong expectations of reality. Instagram for example can give a false sense of reality when everyone is always sharing their "perfect" picture in their camera roll. Instagram is my favorite way to connect to social media but I can see how it can be deceiving and discouraging, just as it can be inspiring and encouraging.




Recently a fellow mama sent me a message on IG asking me about my faith journey and how I find balance in my life. The truth is I'm still searching for the answers to that question as well. But, aren't we all? It may seem that my life or anyone else's looks pretty darn perfect sometimes in those little squares, but it really isn't. My life can look pretty "balanced" in many of my IG pics or blog only because I choose to just share the joyful and happy pictures rather than my sink full of dirty dishes, the girls fighting, the ever growing pile of laundry, and etc, etc. I definitely go through moments in life where I finally get my head above water, and then I'm back under again. Seasons, schedules, and just life in general, right?




So the past couple of months I've been working on being "imperfect". Being okay with a lot less control in my life. Being kinder to myself and taking a whole lot of pressure off of me. Being less critical of myself and being okay with being imperfect. It definitely takes more work sometimes to try to be okay with imperfection than perfection. I'm realizing to let more room in my life for God, I need to be okay with letting myself be imperfect so that I can rely on Him to become more perfect in me. Less of me, more of Him. Jesus > Me, right?


* since weaning Clare, her new favorite thing to do with me is to read books. It's about the best thing in the world to just snuggle with her on the couch with a bowl of snacks and some good old literature.


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